I’m right. You’re right. We may not see eye to eye. Heck we may completely disagree and have polar opposite views and/or ideas but that doesn’t deem either of us wrong. Oh and Franky – he has a set of beliefs that are incongruent with both of the ways we see this dilemma, discussion, idea, topic, belief, situation, perspective, choice, behavior, cause &/or effect, et al ad nauseam. But, you guessed it! Franky is correct in how he feels too!!
You think I’m koo koo for fruity pebbles don’t you? or probably blowing smoke or making nonsensical untrue attributions to the ability for 3 opposing viewpoints to all be true and/or right and/or correct/accurate/etc ad infinitum. Nope although it may sound too good (or bad depending on your reading of the partially filled glass concept) to be true, like a flight of fancy for everyone to accept any/everything so we can all just get along and bury our heads up our naysayers asses rather than hold to our feelsings, thoughts and beliefs. I’m not a fan of sand and definitely keeping my pride and passion for the things I give the time and thought to form an opinion about far from hiding or near wavering to appease one’s sensitivities or for any reason that may give confidence to your take over by heaving niceties and assurances and withering behind into yours or Franky’s shadow! My point of view is important to me – why would I waste my time and energy sharing it if it were not? Oh but trolls….
Those frumpy creatures of the information super highway that seem to have the sole purpose of infuriating the rest of us “civilized” folk just trying to collaborate and find consolment and camaraderie with like minded individuals. And even, if we’re open to our own fallibility and fortunate enough to find an actual human being with compassion and tact and avoid the bridge shadow-dwellers looking for wishful searchers of ideas and growth like ourselves, we can enter into real worthwhile discussion, debate and, dare I say possible collaboration with other sides of the think tank?!
Oh but Jess! how you digress… or have I merely put to the test some of my own ideas. Maybe a bit of both.
But back to basics, you and I don’t see things even similarly so why do I still say you are right? I don’t agree with your perspective, I think you’re wrong but I know you are right. As am I. And Granky he’s bananas coming from left outfield when we are over here playing basketball on an indoor court! No, I do not agree with Franky either. He’s still right, however. And left field or center court his point of view, idea, thinking belief, et al blah blah blah is of just as much value and worth as mine and yours. Can you dig it? Can you see it? Do you care? And even if so, so what?
So what? And lady what are we even talking about and how do you know we don’t agree?
Kudos. Heck you, me and Franky -whoever he is- might completely agree and be on the same page. Cool thing about that is even when we do and/or are that page is from a while different (even if oft similar and sometimes nearly identical) book and I don’t doubt our chapters wouldn’t sync up either.
In all reality sometimes I’m not even in the same book as the page I’m on and while I hoard my books and refuse to destroy a single paragraph so far they all read to the tune of The Neverending Story (I genuinely don’t know the first thing about the actual story/novel by that title so I’m using the title for the broad concept alone) of which will end this metaphor and leave it open to you w hat it means (or doesn’t mean) to you.
I love the internet, the world-wide web of ever growing information at my fingertips – literally a click away. And now it is with me everywhere, its portable and not having the capability to find the correct answer is almost stigmatized and so we are all geniuses with all the right answers right there in our pocket or purse or wishfully nowadays for me AT HOME while I try out life with uncertainty again!
Whimsical wonders while wandering . . . wish me luck!
⚘ A rule I’ve made for myself that has helped me immensely in a lot of ways is that in order to take a stance on something, anything where I am in disagreement with someone else’s perspective I must be able to not only put myself in their shoes but see and appreciate what they see making sense and why one might be inclined to see it in that way. I have to be able to argue either side – or all points if it is more than two clashing ideas – in order for me to stand behind something I believe to be true. It is sort of like playing devil’s advocate with myself but to a bit more thorough of an extent than I do with other people. I drive my 14 year old bonkers sometimes when I do so in our conversations just to get us both thinking on our toes a bit and have to remind her that I am totally in agreeance with her but just helping us see all the sides! ⚘ I watched the movie The Map Of Perfect Tiny Things a few nights ago and was thoroughly impressed with the creator’s genius. I recommend it to all – it may seem a bit teenybopperesque at first or by the cover and cheesiness abounds but in a really good way – so don’t write it off as just some chick flick that you won’t relate to because it has a little something special for everyone to take away from it. Tell me what you think after you see it and I’d love to hear what else you could think to do in that scenario. Or taking that Groundhog Day idea how would you spin it? I thought this concept and all the little nuances within Tiny Things were very fresh and revitalized and I was taken aback with how enthralled and intrigued I was with this movie. ⚘ Something I’m teaching my daughters and making sure to remember myself as I interact with people throughout life when they are being shitty: how a person treats us isn’t a reflection of us and often has nothing to do with us but rather completely about themselves and something they’re dealing with in life. So try not to react in kind with offense or annoyance but instead confuse em with kindness.
And these are the kinds of things I tell myself so that I do.
My life sucks. I’m still happily me.
I’m a hot mess, my life is upside-down due to things out of my control, but I am happy and back on track in keeping my thinking positive and productive! Learning to love myself and taking back responsibility and control over my thoughts, feelings, and actions has brought about so much personal and spiritual growth for me. For the longest time I was happy in my situation in life but not happy with myself. I had so many insecurities and always felt I needed someone to validate my worth. I swore, even to myself, I was happy with myself and I did like myself enough but I didn’t love myself and I was so hard on myself constantly. It was overwhelming and a lot of what led to getting started in addiction for me. *Put a pin in that for a later date when I have more time.* Flip the script and, I’d give anything, even my happiness (I know I still haven’t totally learned) to have my girls with me, but I am a much happier person and am able to really enjoy life now. So, when things get back to how they should be it’ll be that much better. Which, makes me excited for the work in my recovery to get there. I feel good and I think I’m going to choose to keep thinking this way!
I found a page called Women for Sobriety and they approach the Program a little bit differently than Alcoholics Anonymous which follows the 12 steps and 12 traditions, instead they promote their “The Program” aka The Women for Sobriety New Life Program (WSNLP to me now) and that involves 13 “Acceptance Statements.” They promote a new way of life through a new way of thinking and that is something I already do through turning negativity into a positive outcome and focusing on loving myself first so I am definitely interested. I’m going to share with you their 13 Acceptance Statements and my thoughts on them to give you a comprehensive idea of what the WSNLP is about.
Just ran across their 4 steps to nurture behavioral changes and the first two are on point with what I urge others to do just with themselves so that is kind of cool: 1. Positive reinforcement (approval and encouragement) SAME JUST WITH SELF 2. Cognitive strategies (positive thinking) SAME 3. Letting the body help (relaxation techniques, meditation, diet and physical exercise) A GREAT WAY TO ATTEND TO YOUR WHOLE SELF 4. Dynamic group involvement NOT SO MUCH SINCE IT BEING ALL ABOUT YOU IS PART OF SELF LOVE
I FEEL LIKE I WAS STANDING ACROSS THE ROOM FROM YOU YELLING MY IDEAS AFTER READING IN A NORMAL VOICE ALL RUDE LIKE. I SAW YOU MOTIONING FOR ME TO QUIET DOWN BUT I’M JUST ENTHUSIASTIC!
“The program concentrates on learning new self-enhancing behavior and developing a sense of empowerment and self-efficacy.” THIS IS ON POINT
WFS-NLP Acceptance Statements 1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me. I now take charge of my life and my well-being. I accept the responsibility. Sounding pretty familiar but a bit more dire than Step 1. 2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life. Acceptance AND action I like it! Negativity is the crux of the problem. 3. Happiness is a habit I am developing. Happiness is created, not waited for. Action lovin' it! Not any more vague than the first few steps. 4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit. I now better understand my problems. I do not permit problems to overwhelm me. Learning to self soothe and taking responsibility for our reactions, impressive. 5. I am what I think. I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman. Maybe C-words weren't the best choice but I'm all about positive self talk. 6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great. Greatness is mine by a conscious effort. Some days just are mediocre and part of recovery is accepting that as okay. 7. Love can change the course of my world. Caring is all important. Not really for this one but self love and self care are numero uno. 8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth. Daily I put my life into proper order knowing which are the priorities. I'll agree that personal growth is and that encompasses those so okay. 9. The past is gone forever. No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman. The past still happened and is something to learn from and appreciate. Also, the past didn't victimize anyone. Own your shit and move forward with the wisdom from it. 10. All love gives returns. I am learning to know that I am loved. If we include negative returns then true. Must love yourself first. 11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise. I treasure the moments of my New Life. Lost me on daily enthusiasm I enjoy being reserved. "New Life" like you can throw out the old one like it never happened? Not for this lack of appreciation of life lived. 12. I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life. This is what I am, and I shall know it always. More positive self talk, I'm all for it. You are much more than just competent though. 13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions. I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life. That is it? Glad everyone has their wits about them but my mind abandoned ship for a while so, hey, I'm the minority not many alcoholics or addicts have mental health disorders right? Yeah read sarcasm as that is opposite of correct. I can get behind the thoughts and life and self and actions just want a little wiggle room for my mind too.
So all in all I am getting that they figured out the same thing I figured out – that in order to live a fulfilling and worthwhile life you have to love and take care of yourself. They started off strong with actionable follow ups to the acceptance but then I feel they just started throwing around positive affirmations rather than getting to the core of the problem: you’ve got to love yourself first and accept yourself including your past mistakes and experiences. This reads like a woman wrote it, it has a lot of fluffy niceties but lacks real substance or character building and in the end these ladies are still running from their issues. The steps embrace the manliness a bit more they are very direct and to the point and while WFSers are hiding their skeletons deeper in their closets the Program forces you, when you’re still raw, to face EVERYTHING you have ever done in your life. It works for a huge amount of people to finally get honest (which is the basis of my self love program but with another person knowing everything too. I respect it.) like they don’t want to ever have to admit anything ever again and are now leading an honest existence in the Program so BAM we get good people made!