My inner demon is holding me back from a lot right now and is really pissing me off but I’m struggling to overcome my fear of rejection. I’ve been rejected by the dude I’m with regularly for the last year and now he’s completely rejecting me and deciding […]
Originally posted on iNdubitably iNaNe:
8 minute thought-write [type thoughts verbatim no deleting or correcting grammar. edit for visual style only] If I let my mind wander what will I find? A rainbow? A duck. Happenings. Bittersweet undoings of epic proportions. When I think too much it leaves…
Originally posted on iNdubitably iNaNe:
I can’t stop! Do I want to stop? I do, I definitely do, I hate driving myself craZy! Do I get bored of the lack of drama? Am I causing it? No. It’s definitely not my fault. But I am perpetuating the state…
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shakeI shake it off, I shake it off! Taylor Swift, Shake it Offmy theme song
taKin’ feBreze to my stinKin’ thinKin’
with a fuN “what these 12 days of clean time gave to me”
from Hazeldon Betty Ford Foundation. reblogged from christophermturnercheck out his site MY LIFE AND OTHER SORDID TALES Saturday, June 8, 2019 Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is: Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life […]
Forcing myself to spend time awake and involved in my day. My body craving sleep and pulling me toward hibernation.I fight it. Day 2 I felt fine for most, worked an extra 3 hours and only fell out toward the end. Just my friendly coworker noticed and brought […]
Today is the dayTo make a changeTo take a chanceTo leap with faithTo keep my mind safeTo ask for helpTo task my.selfAllay all doubt today They said it works.I read it works.I tried my way.They provide my way. Nothing to lose Unless I chooseAgain to useAnd induce self-abuse […]
It could never happen to you.
You’re fine, you’ll survive another go.
Until you don’t.
& a personal experience
I want to write. My ideas don’t want to be written.My synapses are missing their marks.My brain is like a stubbed toe, pulsating life but producing nothing. I have words though. I’ve been writing lines of words starting with words starting with the letter “a” through the letter […]
Daily Reflection May 22 Step One […]
NA . Meeting One Who’s an addict?What is the NA program?Why are we here?How it works (the stEPS)Twelve TraditionsDaily MeditationWe do recover. Living Clean. 1983 more will be revealed we grow as individuals & as a fellowship sharing, caring, & service face life on its own terms […]
I think at some point I said I wanted to feel things now. That I was ready to feel for real. . . I take it back.I don’t want to feel. I broke down yesterday over my situation with my youngest, Hope, and how I never get to […]
My mind is in a positive swirl of colors today.It is a weird surreal unbalance to be in.I don’t feel bad, at all, I feel really good but not correct. Oh well, I enjoy colorful days on occasion, I think it is a way for my mind to […]
My boost in energy the past few days, which I think was due to my wonky work schedule, has come an end. At work today I heard an awesome song that has so many great lines. I feel like she’s telling my story and my change in attitude […]
I love the smell of rain after a couple weeks without it. It’s comforting and refreshing. I also just love the rain! Washingtonian born and raised so I’m in the right state, although there are states with so much more rain than this “rainy state.” My energy level […]
I don’t want to change the world.I have no expectation of great fame or fortune in my life.I just want my piece of the world happy and content and to be the best me I can be.I don’t want to climb mountains.Often I don’t want to venture outdoors.I […]
I Am Your Disease You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend,Wishes of misery and heartache I send,I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees,I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease. I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul,I’ll […]
3- and 4-word positive sayings Live, Laugh, Learn, Love FaceEverythingAndRecover F.E.A.R. Well that was fun. Talk at you tomorrow!!Detective Pikachu matinee! whoop! whoop!
Loving this word: Perspicacitya penetrating discernment —a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight. Perspicacityis an abstract noun describing a certain capacity of a certain capability. (Such an awesome sentence that leaves you wanting more!) I’ve fallen in LOVE I’ve fallen in LOVE […]
Step1 :: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable. Part1:Powerlessness This is a definite tough place to start for me. I’ve always felt that I consciously made my choice to use, and I don’t want to admit I can’t control my […]
Originally posted on Samira's Notebook:
So motivational! Just what I’m needing to get through my 2 am shift when I stayed up too late to sleep beforehand!! (I did sleep a lot today though) Enjoy the healthy vibes!! Click VIEW ORIGINAL POST…it is sharing weird..Check out her page too, she’s very uplifting in […]
I feel trapped.It is like I know the right things to do but the wrong thing keeps pulling me back in.I’ve been addicted to something since I was 15 and started smoking cigarettes and weed.Then it was alcohol.Then it was pain medication, prescribed (haha then not prescribed if […]
I’m tired.I didn’t get hired.Got a new job. It starts at 2:15 in the am.Glad to have a job.Sad that it is the worst shift.Still sober.Trying hard. They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol It is difficult to stay […]
I grieve for my Madness Now it’s so calm and still Everything’s so dull compared to When I was ill… I Grieve For My Madness — Emma Scarr There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Oscar levant I was diagnosed schizophrenic and […]
Going down! Well, coming down, hard. I decided to finish off the last of what I had cause I’m a sucker for punishment. It ended up going through Monday night. Then, to show me just how idiotic that was, I slept through my alarms Tuesday and missed work. […]