Therefore I am

I’m right. You’re right. We may not see eye to eye. Heck we may completely disagree and have polar opposite views and/or ideas but that doesn’t deem either of us wrong. Oh and Franky – he has a set of beliefs that are incongruent with both of the ways we see this dilemma, discussion, idea, topic, belief, situation, perspective, choice, behavior, cause &/or effect, et al ad nauseam. But, you guessed it! Franky is correct in how he feels too!!

You think I’m koo koo for fruity pebbles don’t you? or probably blowing smoke or making nonsensical untrue attributions to the ability for 3 opposing viewpoints to all be true and/or right and/or correct/accurate/etc ad infinitum. Nope although it may sound too good (or bad depending on your reading of the partially filled glass concept) to be true, like a flight of fancy for everyone to accept any/everything so we can all just get along and bury our heads up our naysayers asses rather than hold to our feelsings, thoughts and beliefs. I’m not a fan of sand and definitely keeping my pride and passion for the things I give the time and thought to form an opinion about far from hiding or near wavering to appease one’s sensitivities or for any reason that may give confidence to your take over by heaving niceties and assurances and withering behind into yours or Franky’s shadow! My point of view is important to me – why would I waste my time and energy sharing it if it were not? Oh but trolls….

Those frumpy creatures of the information super highway that seem to have the sole purpose of infuriating the rest of us “civilized” folk just trying to collaborate and find consolment and camaraderie with like minded individuals. And even, if we’re open to our own fallibility and fortunate enough to find an actual human being with compassion and tact and avoid the bridge shadow-dwellers looking for wishful searchers of ideas and growth like ourselves, we can enter into real worthwhile discussion, debate and, dare I say possible collaboration with other sides of the think tank?!

Oh but Jess! how you digress… or have I merely put to the test some of my own ideas.
Maybe a bit of both.

But back to basics, you and I don’t see things even similarly so why do I still say you are right? I don’t agree with your perspective, I think you’re wrong but I know you are right. As am I. And Granky he’s bananas coming from left outfield when we are over here playing basketball on an indoor court! No, I do not agree with Franky either. He’s still right, however. And left field or center court his point of view, idea, thinking belief, et al blah blah blah is of just as much value and worth as mine and yours. Can you dig it? Can you see it? Do you care? And even if so, so what?

So what?
And lady what are we even talking about and how do you know we don’t agree?

Kudos. Heck you, me and Franky -whoever he is- might completely agree and be on the same page. Cool thing about that is even when we do and/or are that page is from a while different (even if oft similar and sometimes nearly identical) book and I don’t doubt our chapters wouldn’t sync up either.

In all reality sometimes I’m not even in the same book as the page I’m on and while I hoard my books and refuse to destroy a single paragraph so far they all read to the tune of The Neverending Story (I genuinely don’t know the first thing about the actual story/novel by that title so I’m using the title for the broad concept alone) of which will end this metaphor and leave it open to you w hat it means (or doesn’t mean) to you.

I love the internet, the world-wide web of ever growing information at my fingertips – literally a click away. And now it is with me everywhere, its portable and not having the capability to find the correct answer is almost stigmatized and so we are all geniuses with all the right answers right there in our pocket or purse or wishfully nowadays for me AT HOME while I try out life with uncertainty again!

Whimsical wonders while wandering . . . wish me luck!

<p class="has-drop-cap has-white-color has-text-color has-large-font-size" value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">𝘈ꞙ𝒕ꬲ𝒓𝓽𝒽ဝ𝞄ɡ𝐡𝙩𝒔 𝙛၀𝗿 𝓉h𝙤𝖘e ૦𝔣 𝜸𝖔υ 𝕤𝔱𝚒𝝞ᛁ 𝓌𝗂𝕥𝗁 mе:𝘈ꞙ𝒕ꬲ𝒓𝓽𝒽ဝ𝞄ɡ𝐡𝙩𝒔 𝙛၀𝗿 𝓉h𝙤𝖘e ૦𝔣 𝜸𝖔υ 𝕤𝔱𝚒𝝞ᛁ 𝓌𝗂𝕥𝗁 mе:

⚘ A rule I’ve made for myself that has helped me immensely in a lot of ways is that in order to take a stance on something, anything where I am in disagreement with someone else’s perspective I must be able to not only put myself in their shoes but see and appreciate what they see making sense and why one might be inclined to see it in that way. I have to be able to argue either side – or all points if it is more than two clashing ideas – in order for me to stand behind something I believe to be true. It is sort of like playing devil’s advocate with myself but to a bit more thorough of an extent than I do with other people. I drive my 14 year old bonkers sometimes when I do so in our conversations just to get us both thinking on our toes a bit and have to remind her that I am totally in agreeance with her but just helping us see all the sides!
⚘ I watched the movie The Map Of Perfect Tiny Things a few nights ago and was thoroughly impressed with the creator’s genius. I recommend it to all – it may seem a bit teenybopperesque at first or by the cover and cheesiness abounds but in a really good way – so don’t write it off as just some chick flick that you won’t relate to because it has a little something special for everyone to take away from it. Tell me what you think after you see it and I’d love to hear what else you could think to do in that scenario. Or taking that Groundhog Day idea how would you spin it? I thought this concept and all the little nuances within Tiny Things were very fresh and revitalized and I was taken aback with how enthralled and intrigued I was with this movie.
⚘ Something I’m teaching my daughters and making sure to remember myself as I interact with people throughout life when they are being shitty: how a person treats us isn’t a reflection of us and often has nothing to do with us but rather completely about themselves and something they’re dealing with in life. So try not to react in kind with offense or annoyance but instead confuse em with kindness.


pocketmindfulness.com gets me

When life gets me to my breaking point and my sanity is endangered I frantically type in my favorite website/blog url and wait impatiently for it to speedily load so I can click the newest article and every time I have done so it is exactly what I need to hear. It is as though the author has written it just for me knowing just what I need to hear to calm the storms of overthinking and swirling of bad ideas that I’ve concocted and often am set on pursuing right up until that one brave intelligent brain cell pipes up to remind me that I should always check into pocketmindfulness.com before going completely off the deep end as it has worked wonders since I found the site almost two years ago.

It is still a mystery how I came to have the blog appear on my screen by no doing of my own as I was having a nervous breakdown when my laptop was being accessed remotely and I didn’t know how to make it stop or who would be doing so (they did nothing nefarious to my computer and to the best of my knowledge didn’t take anything that I have missed or has been used without my consent I just lost control of my cursor and when I regained control this site was open on my browser and I’ve been hooked ever since *no affiliation between the site owner and the remote accessing fyi*) but I am forever grateful that it did.

The following is the beginning of the article that brought me back from the brink of sanity and showing my ass in following through with the bonkers plans I was making a couple days ago…

I specifically don’t post the entire article so you can navigate over to the author’s post and give him the credit he’s due and traffic to his site which is ad/popup free and has a lot more great posts and information I guarantee will help you if you are looking for a more mindful existence.

Pocket Mindfulness

Be here.

A Simple Tip for Success – Don’t Fall Into Story

People say there are no shortcuts to success, and I think that’s largely true.

Hard work combined with a little bit of good luck along the way is probably the closest recipe.

That said, one thing I’ve learned about success in any endeavor is that negativity will greatly reduce your chances of reward.

I’m not saying that positive thinking will bring you success; nothing will happen without action.

But what I can say with absolute certainty is that being negative and focusing on past bad experiences does not bring anything positive to your life.

Of course, that can be quite difficult to do, particularly if you have been traumatized by a bad experience.

In this case, I would encourage you to seek help, be that through counseling or therapy, or through methods such as meditationself-hypnosis, or by reading about the experiences of others who have been through similar.

The fact remains, though, like violence breeds violence, negativity breeds negativity.

success-tips

Don’t Fall Into Story

I once heard a really good tip for success from Tim Ferris, author of the 4-Hour Workweek. I think it was in a podcast interview where he said the worst thing you can do is to “fall into story”.

By the way, it’s an amazing book for those looking to work less and have more time for the fun things in life. + See it here on Amazon.

This is one of those lines that has stuck with me for many years and, whenever I catch myself doing just that, I say that line out loud to snap myself out of it.

I even have a Post-It note on my wall that says “don’t fall into story”

Falling into story refers to that frame of mind you slip into when things aren’t going your way, or when you feel overwhelmed or in a bad mood, or you just feel like you’re not making progress – despite how much effort you’re putting it.

So you revert to saying things like:

….Keep reading by clicking here it’ll take you to the article posted by the author on his blog at pocketmindfulness.com

Progress not Perfection

One small step for MY SANITY, one giant leap for THE REST OF MY LIFE.

You weren’t my first thought upon waking up this morning, you were like my 43rd thought which means you crept into my brain about 5 minutes after I got out if bed.. thats mighty generous time wise because my thoughts go quite rapidly especially in the early am <and thankfully I now control them for the most part so I don’t have to coax my brain to sleep every night as was the norm for a lot of years> but you weren’t my first thought so thats progress. I did that without his help and really in spite of his deterrents he’d always lay in my path when i was doing well and finding my independence more so/growing spiritually and loving me more.

So screw you and your gaslighting tactics and withholding love and affection to keep me in your twisted need for complete control, Maurice <previously Alex but fuck him Bailey … I mean bailing and then leading me on! Worse yet confusing and leading on Hope when she’s been through enough and then some!!> you don’t deserve to be part of our amazing family anyway.

100th post!!n Correction NOT my 100th Post as I guess one post published 3 of 4 times…. OOOOPpps

I AM Surviving you!

Having had a spiritual awakening as the r͟e͟s͟u͟l͟t͟ ͟o͟f͟ ͟t͟h͟e͟s͟e͟ ͟s͟t͟e͟p͟s͟, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are WILLING to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual PROGRESS rather than spiritual perfection.

Big Book of AA pg 60
Time to start anew!
Growth and choosing happiness!!

the thought life

This book was my saving grace and changed my life and my way of thinking so drastically and I am better for it. So I’m sharing it with you so that, while it might not be as instantaneously impacting as it was for me, you can see the way I have changed my thinking so that I am happy no matter what is going on in my life or where I’m at. It is a choice – and a pain in the butt sometimes to choose to do – to choose happiness and reframe my thinking and it took a few weeks of continuous conscious effort to stop the negative thoughts that seemed to come so naturally and having to be honest with myself wasn’t a walk in the park either. But it is worth it on the other side. I’ve always poo-pooed self help books as schemes to make a buck off of our insecurities and maybe some are but most all of them have a positive message and ideas that can help or inspire us in one way or another so let them have their buck for writing down what we should already know and be doing, it is mutually beneficial. The book that follows is not making a cent off you or me or anyone for that matter, it is not copyrighted and available free to the public (you can find it for purchase too in audio and print but its a public-domain book so you can find it for free *see links after book*). It is pretty simple and repetitive but the ideas within can open up a whole new world for you if you want them to. I’ll also add the audio version somewhere in here because that is how I first “read” it, with my ears and pen to paper scribbling notes like a madwoman, and all in one sitting (and then again, and later again still and somewhere in there I’ve read it a couple times over) and wham bam thank you ma’am I’m still right where I was but I enjoy and am happy. My stoic best friend doesn’t agree with thinking your way out of poverty and she’s right that sounds unthinkable! Yeah that was sooo cornily on purpose, sue me (can’t squeeze a turnip!!). Okay I’m done. Anyway she is the smartest lady I’ve ever known, and I’ve known some really smart people so she is impressive, but she’s wrong on this one (loves you my errant muse!!) and I’m gonna prove it – just give me a couple years! Really though she is correct that you can’t JUST think positively and get anywhere but that is where this system of thinking and ACTION works. It is about thinking positively and accepting things as they are and improving upon them by turning those positive thoughts into actions that bring about better outcomes. You catch more flies with honey (shit may attract more but honey keeps em stuck) than vinegar, right?

Okay let me stop rambling and without further adieu As a Man Thinketh written by the genius philosophical mind of James Allen. (I made it pretty!)

Ŧ๏гєฬคг๔
Cԋαρƚҽɾ 1: Tԋσυɠԋƚ αɳԃ Cԋαɾαƈƚҽɾ
𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 2 : 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒄𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒖𝒎𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔
Cԋαρƚҽɾ 3 : ҽϝϝҽƈƚ σϝ ƚԋσυɠԋƚ σɳ ԋҽαʅƚԋ αɳԃ ƚԋҽ Ⴆσԃყ
𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 4 : 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆
Cԋαρƚҽɾ 5 : ƚԋҽ ƚԋσυɠԋƚ-ϝαƈƚσɾ ιɳ αƈԋιҽʋҽɱҽɳƚ
𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 6 : 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓼
Cԋαρƚҽɾ 7 : Sҽɾҽɳιƚყ
(っ◔◡◔)っ ↫↫↫↫↫𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 by 𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙻𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚅𝚘𝚡’𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚌-𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢.. ↬↬↬↬↬

The James Allen Free Library

The James Allen Free Library aspires to make all the works of inspirational writer James Allen (1864-1912) available online, to anyone, for free, in both English and Dutch.

honesty is easier

skeptical emoji by Conmongt @pixabay.comhttps://pixabay.com/illustrations/old-skeptical-glasses-asking-clear-2056477/
Say what you like: say I'm ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we've had a fire
—T. S. Eliot

Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye.

Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.

Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991

Thursday, February 20

Say what you like: say I’m ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we’ve had a fire
—T. S. Eliot

Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we’re not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It’s easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye.

Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we’ve made seem unworthy, if we feel we can’t express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what’s on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.

Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?

From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991

the upside of down

you paid
i supplied
you saved
i admired
your kindness
my adoration
you charmed
i fell

you taught
i fought
your patience
my resistance
you control
i rebel
your guidance
my obstinance

you show
i tell
your expectations
my disappointment
your tough love
my best try
you renounce
i comply

you withhold
i apologize
you assume
i confess
your judgment
my surrender
you rebuke
i regress

you cheat
i retreat
you blame
i examine
you lie
i rectify
you play
i cave

you take
i give
you demand
i bend
you hurt
i empathize
you resent
i forgive

you stay
i grow
your ignorance
my wisdom
you hate
i commiserate
your intolerance
my acceptance