I love the idea of skipping backwards and it makes me smile whenever I picture myself attempting to do so. I haven’t taken the time to watch a video of people supposedly (per the title) doing so and know I should. Bahahaha I’m imagining Taylor Swift skipping backwards perfectly as I trip around behind her like I’m in my favorite music video ever that I watch whenever I need a self esteem boost and reminder that I am awesome because I am, is Taylor Swift’s Shake It Up:
That is what skipping backwards embodies in my life – laughing at myself and enjoying life no matter the circumstances or other people’s attitudes.
Until I saw this video I was a terrible person who hated Taylor Swift. Why did I hate her you may be wondering? I felt that she looked weird and had a scrunched up face!! That was definitely my insecurities talking as I can now wholeheartedly admit that she is gorgeous. Who did I think I was judging someone else whom I would feel fortunate to meet after watching her music videos and forming a bond!! (Okay I may have binged on Taylor Swift videos for the entire day after finding this gem!!)
It seems like a super simple concept to love oneself but it turns out it is not, it takes a lot of conscious effort! You have to get really honest with yourself about yourself and accept the good bad and beautiful. It took me years that I wasted wallowing in my pathetic insecurities, to come to terms with the fact that I was THE ONLY ONE who judged me as harshly as I judged myself and NO ONE WHO MATTERS CARES about that nitpicking stuff anyway. Once I figured this out in my very late twenties I found a whole new world I’d been missing out on. I cannot believe how concerned I was with other people’s opinions of me, often people I didn’t even care for, and how much of my life I had spent trying to impress. I was never comfortable in my clothes – that I chose for myself – and was always sweating in and self conscious wearing them. I didn’t find my own “look” until my late twenties to early thirties and now I rock the most amazing wardrobe that I mostly purchased at the Goodwill.
I feel empowered just because I am. I am still a complete social nincompoop (I’m socially awkward) and I can’t seem to have a normal everyday conversation correctly all the way through but I don’t get embarrassed about it anymore!!
Innocent passerby: “Hi, how are you?”
Me *trips slightly as I overcompensate due to sweaty palms?* and too late to even be responding I go: “Me. Sun. Good out today.”
To make matters worse she had gotten too far to hear me (not that what I said would have been less puzzling if heard well) and what I’ve learned since going back to work is that I have the world’s softest and quietest voice even when I feel like I’m yelling. That is a whole other bundle of socially awkward moments in just one day at work.
But this is where I should be able to redeem myself since she didn’t hear my blunder so I say: “Good to meet you. Nice meeting you.” I’m bowing slightly to show respect maybe? The look of disgruntled confusion was an odd twist of the face. We’d both been going to our cars so I waved as I got into mine.
And we both drove away in utter disbelief that I am potty trained.
All I had to do is say, “Hi.” And keep walking.
It is cliche but is such an important thing to do in life – laugh at yourself and with yourself laughing at yourself! The majority of people are scared of making a fool of themselves or being made a fool of. When you love yourself you love all the trips, slips and missteps and shake em off. (Bahahaha yeah I know) I dance to the music on my
headphones earbuds while I’m working in front of whoever is around or happens to walk by – I am very very white and have negative rhythm but I enjoy myself and workdays fly by!
Catch you on the flip side!