0.eight – …

I'm tired.
I didn't get hired.
Got a new job.
It starts at 2:15 in the am.
Glad to have a job.
Sad that it is the worst shift.
Still sober.
Trying hard.

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

Andy Warhol

It is difficult to stay sober. I have no energy and getting high I have an abundance of energy, while I’m high but the aftermath is so much sleep and being unmotivated. I’ve decided I need to give some spirituality a chance, say hi and thank you to God more often. I know it gave me a lot of energy and desire to do things the time I got clean and stayed clean for a year and a month. It was so easy then and I don’t get why it is so hard this time around. I think that making it through a month will bring about change in my motivation a bit as well as chatting with God. One can hope!
I’ve got lots of wisdom in how to stay sober and I’m not using the essentials. I need to go to meetings. I need to wake up and do some things productive; I did so today and I feel a bit better than yesterday. I need to be honest, this lying my way to graduating from treatment is starting to catch up with me. For now I’m taking it one day at a time. It is what I can and am doing right now. Staying clean for the minutes as they come. Staying up on my blog is something I want to get better about as I get out of this funk-if I get out of this funk, I never know if its withdrawals or my medications…or both is probably the case.
Happiness, motivation, and energy – that is all I want!
I’m way past my bedtime but struggling to sleep because I slept too much during the day. Go figure, when I need to sleep I can’t!! Haha. Such is life.

6 thoughts on “0.eight – …

  1. It’s not until we are sober we realize what hell we actually put our body through. Our bodies need time to reset themselves – get back into a normal equilibrium. That does take time, so take the time and rest. Something I found useful when I didn’t want to do anything was reading recovery material, even if I was just sitting in bed: daily reflection(AA), just for today(NA), something out of the Big Book or Basic Text. I would take what I read and try to practice it if I could. Set small goals like one meeting a day – NO MATTER WHAT. If you happen to go to two, great. But make one and if all you do is listen, you’ve accomplished your goal, so give yourself a pat on the back. Do the same thing tomorrow. You’ll get back to where you’re suppose to be. As you already know, you have to put the work into it. “…if you are you willing to go to any length”(AA) or “If you want what we have to offer, and are willing to make the ffort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. “(NA). You can do this, keep you’re chin up. Look forward to your future posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comments really keep me motivate and your suggestions are spot on.
      I actually broke my big book out today and am starting Step One and will blog about it soon, maybe today even. I am also planning to attend an 8 o’clock meeting! See your spot on, I love it!! My goal is to get to two meetings a week just to set myself up for success but this time around I am getting myself a sponsor!
      I’m excited for what lies ahead, I’m just struggling with the right now part.
      Again thank you, you are wonderful.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. AA Preamble, “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. You don’t realize (read my blog) you just turned my day around, thank YOU 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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