Posted in liFe on liFe's TerMs, recovery

0.21 – BE now : aspire FOR tomorrow

Prepare for your my future?


    Lately, I have been planning (and failing to accomplish) small weekly goals and setting a task to achieve daily (blogging every day! I will get there) to feel myself progressing. While I have yet to reach any of my goals to their fulfillment making them has kept me motivated and constantly thinking creatively; the fact that I am continuing to pursue blogging is proof of that reserved determination. So, I figure, since I’m already so far ahead of the curve, I might as well get even more ambitious and set out a path – barebones rough outline to expand upon in time – to follow toward a my purpose. My logic is senseless and I do so enjoy it as such; it keeps my chaos a tad more organized.


   What got me on the idea of sketching out an outline of my way from here to there, there being my intention, my plan, my best outcome, is the topic above being asked of us at treatment today. I got on a roll and it got me amped! I’m also all over the place in regards to my timeline’s synchronicity so that will balance out as our ideas mature along the journey. So here is the synopsis of what I set out to Get ‘er done! in the next 10 years. Remember! it is my first draft of my second first draft:

=_= first time in my life that I am setting long term goals and I’m writing them down 2x now! was scared of goals because they meant effort and the ability to fail. now i’m excited to keep on trying until I thrive. and not stop there. =_+


Where do I see myself in 1 year.
  5 years. 10 years.? 

+In 1 month I get my court case dismissed after completing two years of probation so for the next thirty days no shenanigans for sure I want those charges disappeared!
+Over the next couple of months I’m going to be working my most workiest so that the company I’m temping for will hire me on full time (they’ve already brought it up as an idea – yeah they came to me so that rocked) or I’ll take part-time as an ACTUAL employee.wink
+Within 3 months I’d like to have earned 100 followers to this blog I be’s a writing AND get my car all up to snuff serviced to be on point for the next while.
**some ideas to get it so** 
–oil and filter change
–replace spark plugs
–replace any other filters and replenish fluids
–brakes done
–alignment aligned 
((ideas are welcome I know exactly ^that^ much about what I need to do to maintain my car))
+By my daughter’s 8th birthday in August, about 4 months away, I will have worked with an attorney to have gotten my visits on track with Hope. -hopefully it will be every other weekend by then-
+At 6 months I would like to have enough money saved up that I can feasibly put aside enough monthly to be in the position to live on my own. Not that I will but that I will be ABLE to.
+A year from now I plan to be petitioning the courts for more time with my daughters – an extra afterschool overnight per week or every other, I’m thinking.
+In 5 years time I will have both my girls full time again (as long as that is the choice they want still) and we’ll live in a one-story three bedroom home. The kids will share rooms with their respective sexes (if it’s still the 6 of us); the house will be big enough for comfort but cozy with affection. There is the likely possibility of a yard and one, or two, dogs. +Riley will be on her way out of the nest in just 6 years!+
+When I am 43 in TEN years I will have begun and succeeded in paying off my student loans and the credit card debt left to me from my exes. I will be debt free!

A few extras

  • In 5 years this – the hardships to endure in the aftermath of my addiction – will all be a distant memory.
  • Next few weeks ~ diet change :_: breakFast < protein shakes w.Collagen supplement / lunch < fruit smoothies w.Creatine and fat burner supplements / weaning off of NOS and adding in more water / dinner < meat size of my fist, two fistfulls of veggies, over rice
  • Over the following few months ~ eXercise regimen :_: one@ctivity every other day for 30 minutes ie. yoga, walking, jogging, swimming, etc.
  • As things continue to progress I want to eventually create my own website for my blog!
  • To get my “storagerooms cleared out I will take ONE box fill it with junk to get rid of or donate and do so ONCE a week until complete.

So tAdA!
I have more purpose.

“He who has a why to live for
can bear almost any how.”
friedrich nietzsche


i'm happiLy me in spite of my circumstances underestimate me, please -this'll be fun i've got no time for playing games so be real or leave me be 1 + 1 + 1 [+ ¿1?] makes us and we is all I need (+ auntie Aj)

4 thoughts on “0.21 – BE now : aspire FOR tomorrow

  1. For now, I would recommend not overwhelming yourself. Perhaps just cut it down to the next year from the day you stopped using. I have 2019 goals (which need to be updated since things change) on my blog – take a look. Short-term goals are easier to manage. Something I learned from rehab this time around is use SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timing (Source: ). I know it sounds corny (again) but its working for me. First goals for me – 30, 60, 90 days of sobriety. Here I am with over seven months. It’s good to have long-term goals (I want the American Dream – the house, car, family, pets and all the trimmings too) but if I’m always striving for future, I’m not paying attention to NOW. Besides if I put an high expectation on that goal and it never happens, I can be devastated (I’m not worthy!). Instead I look at my short term goals to help me move forward. Right now, it’s my nine month sobriety goal I’m working for, even though I can taste it (like a good bowl of triple chocolate ice cream sitting on my lap) my first year of sobriety is right around the corner. What if, for whatever reason (and I pray it doesn’t) I don’t get a year sober? I’m going to be just that more disappointed in myself. Whatever you decide, I like your goal list. I hope to see you reach them!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks!!
      My goals aren’t set in stone end dates; I’m too lackadaisical about life to hold myself unnecessarily to strict time constraints on my journey of growth and experience. I followed the SMART guidelines pretty well I think in setting them and appreciate the advice cause it is a great system. And if you’re going to have a goal to reach you’ve got to have a plan in motion to be making even just slight moves forward regularly.
      Way to go on getting up past 7 months that is awesome!!
      I’m simplistic so my goals are all centered around more happy and less stress and learning something new, borrowed, or green along the way!
      I agree with the short term goals being a good focus. My short term goals are building blocks to my long term goals and I’ll keep writing new drafts as I go, too.
      “Expectations are premeditated disappointments and resentments.” “they” say.
      To an extent I agree, I believe life is fluid and we’ve all got to ride the tide, and still have aspirations and desires for whatever we view as the good life for ourselves! Positive thoughts toward an optimistic outcome. “As a Man Thinketh” is an awesome read by James Allen to really get you thinking about how about the power our minds and mindsets have over our lives and circumstances.
      Great chatting!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Setting goals is great, it focusses your mind on what YOU want out of life. Setting more flexible timescales might be helpful though, that way you avoid the feeling of failure if you’re a day, a week, or a month late…you’ll still get there.
    It’s amazing that you’ve written your drafts, most people drift through life with vague ideas of what they need and want, you’ve pinned them down…good for you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw your comment made me feel really good, thank you!
      I’m definitely not set on strict end dates, I agree that wouldn’t be in my best interest. I’ve been missing my daily and weekly goals as I go through all the withdrawal phases and often go on sleeping sprees.
      I was worried it would be lame of me to miss so much and come back and keep going but then I realized that life is happening to everyone so we can all understand a eachother’s plights. And by golly a week is only 3 or 4 days long it seems!!
      I am feeling very accomplished the past few days. I’m even putting literal pen to paper quite a bit too, brainstorming the plethora of thunk-its I’ve got swirling around.
      Really glad I found an outlet that is helping me stay focused and busy!!


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