days 19-21 – circumstantial footprint

Today day 21/March 28

Woke up and was late to the morning meeting at work.
Working – got offered a possible full-time position through the company I’ve been temping (temporarily working [on call as needed] for) with the past three weeks.
My supervisor came up to me at the end of the day, while I was putting the finishing touches on a project I’d stayed late to help complete as it was due to be shipped today, and took me by complete surprise by declaring, “You are awesome.”
I nervously laughed and said dorkily, “Well, much appreciated!”
She went on to say that she finds the way and how I work and figure things out “awesome” and asked if I would be interested in working for their company full-time.
Another lame response from me, “Oh yes very much so.”
She had a laugh at that and we said a few more things in regards to continuing to work there as I completed my task and I thought she was going to hug me for a second but raised her arms above her head and said, “That’s all for you today!! You can get on up outta here!”
My response: “I like the people here” (responding to a previous question from our just had conversation I apparently hadn’t felt I’d adequately answered already) and “Good day.” (don’t worry she probably let herself believe I’d said “Have” as I didn’t say it in some uppity accented way) I left feeling like I had had my first ever conversation in the adult world and had ACED it!! Now I realize I was as delusional as I must have seemed but oh well – they like me! they like me! they really like me!
Came home to see my man off for a new daily couple/few hour fishing trip (my overreacting female brain is waving neon red flags in paranoia just thinking about it) since spring has overtaken winter (keeping my sanity with reasoning). He does invite me but knows I won’t likely go so that reasoning doesn’t help me one way or the other.
Raced around trying to go do an UA but found out my card had a block put on it for my bank’s disbelief that I am willing to pay truthfinder 5 bucks to find out the owner’s names of phone numbers (gotta love this crazy sponge in my head) I find on my boyfriends phone account usage log that I don’t already know (haven’t yet checked out and verified already) so I couldn’t access my monies on said card for an hour after I called putting my money’s availability past the allowed arrival time of pee-ers at my UA place.
Settled in and rewrote an email to my ex Grayson to request the court ordered parenting plan be followed in regards to my visitation as he has been ignoring my compliance and therefore has been withholding my rightful lawfully allotted progression in visitations with Hope for the past nearly 9 months. I had spoken to him about a month ago and he had verbally agreed to solving the issue by giving me more time as soon as he left and moved away from Kimmie this month (he’s been planning and telling me about this plan for the past 9 months so I have been patiently waiting). He went so far as to ask for my help finding places for him to rent which I did as I thought I was doing something beneficial for Hope. He has still not moved and it is the end of the month and I’m not willing to continue waiting and feel I have been a good sport about it and honestly even in my email am still being. I sent it about an hour ago after I knocked out my 6th draft after rewording and editing and simplifying even more so than I had from my previous drafts for nearly 6 hours. The real beauty – he’ll read it in mere seconds and then Kimmie will reply her disapproval (He has admitted that she is the reason behind my visitation not progressing as it should. pathetic bullshit, if you ask me, to allow her any involvement in my relationship with my daughter.) and repeat the argument SHE made previously when denying me progression in my visits 9 months ago that I proved inaccurate numerous times since.
Here let me throw this out there as a question to hopefully be commented on (I am taking my case to an attorney who is from an amazingly successful law firm and does pro bono work helping poor people like me with how to proceed/what to legally do in custody situations to be sure as well before going back to court) there are actually two:
1. If a requisite is stated as a MUST followed by a sentence stating something SHOULD occur is SHOULD a suggestion or a requirement? And if it is a requirement why is it not grouped with the MUST denoted factors before it?
2. Can a judge (unknowingly or knowingly though I hope it was the former) make something that is unattainable and unobtainable a requirement for visitations? This being something impossible to do as no labs in my state test for and therefore no facilities in my state (something passed that made all UA facilities report to in state labs **anyone know what law or regulation I’m referring too??) can supply me with proof of cutoff levels as low as suggested.
3. (thought up another one) Can a custody trial take place at a place outside of both the mother and father’s city of residence when there is a court within reasonable distance of both? It did but I’m curious as to the legality and therefore validity of the decision. I was deemed indigent and because I had no money to pay for transportation to the courthouse 50 miles away I wasn’t even able to attend the trial.
4. Any lawyers reading this out there in internetLand who want to help me out? I do better getting my point across via type versus talk.  I’ll also be posting a story as to how this whole custody scenario was set into motion shortly as well. It is heartbreaking and unbelievable but I’ve very honestly depicted what happened in what I’ve wrote thus far.

Yikes waay beyond my bedtime!!

 

Yesterday (day 20/March 27th) I worked. I went to treatment which was kind of cool because the new counselor took the note I wrote her to heart and kept the information interactive involving the group with questions and allowing for comprehensive answers versus cutting people off per usual AND she gave us paper to write ideas for group topics on or changes in the group we’d like to see. I’d written very plainly the basic gist of what I’ll write it here:
1. This group is lacking since Marty left.
2. He would ask questions about our lives and it brought about a great atmosphere of trust and sharing and comradery amongst us.
3.  We are not retaining any information from you reading unrelatable (or for that matter even relatable) topics to us for the entire 2 hours.
4. I’m no longer finding anything about treatment worthwhile or uplifting and am only showing up because I’m required to.
5. I did enjoy the medicine wheel you did with us last week, keep that up!
So I think my point made it across to her and I felt validated by her NOT just reading and by her requests. However, (geez right never satisfied) I actually really wanted to sleep through treatment yesterday but in attempting to do so a bit just by having my eyes closed (which she, bless her heart, tolerated for the entirety of the group), even though I was still participating and answering questions,  I got myself into trouble and having to be told to sit up and take my feet off of the neighboring seat as I was slouching with my knees folded up to my chest (looking a little too comfortable maybe) so I corrected by scooching backward an inch and extending my legs to where my feet dangled off of the seat with my legs still propped up by the chair.
Yeah I realize it was an asshole move but I was wiped.
Upon arriving home I unclothed down to my underwear and flopped onto the bed (two couches put together since a bed would be a committment!!! and we can’t have any of that) then I called my daughter for our nightly chat and immediately after I hung up I fell asleep. I slept and slept and slept until I was nearly late for work and abruptly woke this morning!!

Tuesday (day 19/March 26)

I woke up late so, as seems to be my pattern lately, I rushed out the door to get to work on time.
I worked.
I drove home from work.
I arrived home and turned on the tv.
I promptly fell asleep.
I woke up to call my daughter.
I fell right back asleep once we ended the call.
I slept without dreams I could recall until I woke up with a few extra minutes to brush my teeth yesterday!! (eww gross!! haha yeah I know I can be)

 

Fare thee well!

 

 

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